Most Memorable Customers

Just so you don't think all strip club patrons are evil slimy creatures, here is a list of my all-time most memorable customers:

8. Guy Who Offered Me $15,000 For A Blow Job. Just to clarify--I turned him down. Since him, every offer has seemed puny in comparison. (2007)

7. First Customer I Ever Talked To (at City Limits in Sacramento). Really hairy twentysomething guy in a wife beater who told me I would never make it in this business because my personality wasn't right for it and he didn't think I was cute enough. Mmmhmmm thanks for the advice buddy. (April 2004)

6. Jews 1, 2, & 3. Also known as Max, Jamie, & Bryan. I don't know why but I love these guys! They are the only ones I've ever met for breakfast after work. Keep in touch homies! (June 2009)

5. Jim. Jim is probably the coolest guy I've ever met in the club. He's an independent film producer and he loves alternative music even more than I do. I'm still kicking myself for turning down his invitation to Sundance a few years ago (I had a boyfriend and guess what? I am a really good girlfriend!). (December 2006)

4. The Two Hottest Girls I've Ever Danced For. I don't remember their names but the first one looked like Eva Longoria and the second one was a Monica Bellucci lookalike. They were just sooo hot I had to get extra freaky with them in the VIP room (details available upon request). Both experiences were the kind of "God I Love My Job" moments that make it all worthwhile. (January 2007 & July 2009)

3. Tanvir. I met Tanvir when I had flown home from France to work during spring break. I was super stressed and under a ton of pressure to make money, so he was like my knight in shining armor--he was a total gentleman and spoiled me rotten ($2600 over two shifts). Plus he ordered me quesadillas...what more could a girl ask for? (April 2008)

2. Rayne. One night I wandered into the champagne room and heard the customer in front of me tell the host: "Send me a couple girls. I'm ready to party." I tapped him on the shoulder and introduced myself. We totally clicked! A young Jewish New Yorker (totally my type), he told me he was dating a dancer at Scores so he didn't want lap dances, but he'd just won a ton of money and wanted to spread the wealth around. He ended up booking me & two other dancers for five consecutive hours ($400/hr each--you do the math). We spent the time talking, laughing, sharing stories, munching on finger foods...it was really fun, not to mention lucrative. (May 2007)

1. Mike. The only customer with whom I have fallen in love. If you don't know the story...well I'm not gonna reiterate it here. Some things are truly private. (2007)